Owning your sexuality is sexy!

The more you accept and love your body and understand how it functions, the more you can have a fulfilling sex life.

To kick-start your sexual journey, here are a few things that you can try:

• Take a moment to thank your body for being the beautiful vessel that helps you move through life. Instead of sucking in your belly, gently stroke it and express gratitude for digesting all the yummy food you eat and nourishing the rest of your body. Instead of wishing you had smaller thighs, thank your legs for helping you stand and move around. Practicing daily gratitude can help you accept and love your unique and beautiful body.
• Look at your vulva or the external parts of your vagina. Seriously, when was the last time you got up close and personal with your lady bits? Get a mirror and look at every inch of your vulva. Take a diagram and identify the parts of your own vulva. It’s about time that you map out your unique landscape down there. Plus, you’ll now have an idea of what it typically looks like and you’ll be able to spot any irregularities.
• Explore your body. Aside from your clit, you have many other erogenous zones that can make you feel amazing. Try different strokes, levels of pressure, and other types of stimulation to find out what sets off fireworks for you, with or without a partner.
• List down your sexual accelerators and brakes. What turns you on and how can you fuel that? What’s weighing you down and how can you resolve that? Sometimes, just acknowledging the problem can offer immense relief. From there, you can figure out how to work through it.
• Talk to your partner. When you have a better idea of what turns you on and off, it’s easier to communicate with your partner about what you want and need in and outside the bedroom.

The more you can explore and learn about your body, the more you can be comfortable with your body and tap into your innate sexual power. Your unique and beautiful body was made to feel sexual pleasure, not just to perform bodily and reproductive functions. It’s high time that you own your sexuality and enjoy what you deserve—sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

You may ask yourself:

Is the vagina the same thing as the vulva?

No, what most people call the vagina is actually the vulva, which is the anatomically correct term for all the external parts of your genitals, including the clitoris. The vagina is the canal that connects the vulva and the uterus.

What is the clitoris?

It’s the only organ in the female body whose one and only purpose is to feel pleasure. The tiny nub that most people know as the clit is just the tip of the iceberg. Two-thirds of the clitoris is actually internal, and the whole structure is shaped like a wishbone.

Do women really fake orgasms?

Unfortunately, yes. In a survey, 68% of women said they pretended to climax, which is much higher than the 27% of men who admitted the same. For women who admitted to their partner that they were faking it, 60% would pretend again with the same partner!

Why is it hard for me to get into the mood?

Your body has sexual brakes and accelerators. Brakes that turn you off include body image issues, relationship conflict, feeling obligated to have sex, lack of sleep, and stress.

Accelerators that turn you on include your partner’s appearance, physical stimulation, watching a sexy film, novelty, and moments that make you feel closer to your partner. Interestingly, research shows that turning off your brakes has more impact than turning on your accelerators.

Why am I not wet even if I feel turned on?

It’s because of “arousal nonconcordance.” Basically, the feeling of being turned on and how your genitals react are different things that have some overlap. For men, the overlap is 50%. For women, it’s a lot lower at 10%.

Why does my partner initiate sex more than I do?

There are two kinds of desire. You may feel spontaneous desire, which is when you suddenly want to have sex without any sexual stimulation. Or, you may feel responsive desire, which is when you respond to sexual pleasure. You can experience just one or both, and that’s totally normal.