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How to have sex: 5 amazing ways of getting to pound town tonight

If you want to make the most out of your trip to that peak, take note of the only “to do (the deed)” list you’ll need.

Let’s face it. Getting good at sex is like learning any other new skill, like cooking, painting, or hiking. No one really gets it right the first few times they try it. While trial and error is one way for you to figure out what works best for you and your partner, there’s no harm in seeking a little bit of help.

You know what they say: A wise woman learns from her own experiences, but a wiser woman learns from the experiences of others. (Wink wink!)

Without further ado, here are a few tips and tricks from ladies who have more or less made the most out of sexy time so you can do it too.

1. Don’t hit the panic button

Hold up. Before you even start, you have to stop overthinking everything.

That’s never helped anybody. All you’d be doing is writing a long, disastrous script in your head that only you will probably act out alone. Sex and orgasms aren’t the be-all, end-all of your time together.

It’s very rare that your partner would nitpick every little detail while you’re together. (And when they do, they’re probably a control freak!) Just keep your head in the present moment and out of the ridiculous scenarios in your imagination.

Take your mind off that unfinished task from work, at least for the time being. Sexy time will lower your stress enough to finish it later.

According to one study, women find it more difficult to get aroused when they’re highly anxious. If you can’t relax, you won’t be able to enjoy sex as much.

2. Clear the air

The best way to take a chill pill before your steamy sesh? Talk with your partner.

If there’s anything in particular that you want to happen or prevent from happening, be open about it. Communicate your wants, needs, desires, and even insecurities. Tell them about what sex means to you, whether it’s casual or serious, monogamous or open. It’s best to keep expectations in check as well. 

You don’t even have to bring this up in the context of having sex. Any time when you’re alone and comfortable together would be fine. You don’t have to draw attention to it the moment that you match with someone on a dating app, either. But don’t forget to mention it before getting it on!

3. Dim the lights

Looking forward to staging a better act? Get intimate and don’t skip the foreplay. Women need to be mentally and emotionally prepared so we can be more receptive to pleasure.

So dim the lights, please. Play with the atmosphere to get into the mood. Cuddle in the dark. Whisper fantasies into each other’s ears. Get down and talk dirty. It’s not about the words you use but your connection and intention behind them.

Say it best when you say nothing at all: Moaning is one of the best ways to let your partner know they’re doing you right.

Don’t strip down butt-naked right away, though. In sex, just like in all the finer things in life, timing is everything. Drawing out every stimulus allows our mind to savor each sensation, sending us into a much deeper state of intensified orgasms.

Sure, nudes can give us a rush of dopamine with a chance of oxytocin. But this feeling fades away quickly. Make them work for it a bit longer, and both of you will certainly be rewarded by a hard-hitting finale.

4. Mix it up

Throw in some variety! While routine isn’t necessarily a bad thing— regularly making time for sex can help maintain a long-term healthy relationship— it’s nice to mix things up with new sex games, toys, or positions you’ve never tried before.

Conquering all this unchartered territory may allow you to discover new sexual fantasies or unlock entirely new sensual experiences that would have otherwise just been ignored. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know what not to do next time.

5. Let’s get physical

Time to stretch those pelvic floor muscles! Sexual fitness isn’t a very sexy topic that gets the spotlight, but it also deserves your attention.

The exercise isn’t too complicated. Simply tighten the muscle that would normally stop you from urinating midway, then hold it for two to three seconds. Repeat ten times and try to do about five sets a day.

The best part is that you can manage to do this anywhere without anyone else noticing. Women can even amp up the intensity of the workout by using Kegel balls!

Now all that’s left to do is to put theory to practice. How many items have you ticked off this “to do (the deed)” list so far?

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Should I be paying more attention to how I look or what I’m doing during sex?

Hold it right there! You’re overthinking this, darling. Trust us, it’s very rare that your partner would nitpick every little detail while you’re together. Just keep your head in the present moment and out of the ridiculous scenarios in your imagination.

How do I set expectations with my partner before sex?

If there’s anything in particular that you want to happen or prevent from happening, be open about it. Communicate your wants, needs, desires, and even insecurities. Tell them about what sex means to you, whether it’s casual or serious, monogamous or open.

What should I keep in mind while I’m doing the deed?

Play with the atmosphere to get into the mood. Cuddle in the dark. Whisper fantasies into each other’s ears. Get down and talk dirty. And remember: In sex, just like in all the finer things in life, timing is everything. So take your sweet time in bed, alright?

How can I switch things up in the ‘bedtime ritual’ of our relationship?

Throw in some variety! While routine isn’t necessarily a bad thing— regularly making time for sex can help maintain a long-term healthy relationship— it’s nice to mix things up with new sex games, toys, or positions you’ve never tried before. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know what not to do next time.

Any other tips on how I can make my orgasms even better?

Time to stretch those pelvic floor muscles! Just tighten the muscle that would normally stop you from urinating midway, then hold it for two to three seconds. Repeat ten times and try to do about five sets a day. Throw in a pair of Kegel balls in your workout to amp up the intensity!

Posted by Prism Kristensen

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