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Sexiconsextionary sex-faq

Sex & Pleasure FAQ

1. How often should couples have sex?

According to a 2015 study involving 30,000 individuals in the United States, couples who have sex at least once a week are more likely to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction due to a sense of general well-being they get when engaging in sexual behaviors.

But anything beyond that does not significantly increase happiness. We’re all for a once a week romp, but be sure it’s a good one!

2. Can you be happy and satisfied in a relationship without sex?

There are couples who are perfectly fine with companionship, even without sex, if this is an arrangement that both want and agreed to. Having a “sexless marriage,” where couples have sex 10 times a year or less, is more common than we think.

However, it is also important to know that in studies where couples have sex less than once a week also reported lower levels of well-being and happiness in the relationship.

3. Does frequency of having sex trump quality?

How often couples are having sex is NOT as important as how great the sexual encounter is! You may be having lots of sex, but if it is bad—mechanical, cold, unpleasant—it most likely won’t lead to an increase in relationship satisfaction!

So even if you’re just getting hot and dirty sexy lovin’ once a month, as long as it’s good for the both of you, then you’re good too!

4. Why does sexual desire between couples seem to diminish over time?

There are different reasons for dry spells. It could be practical, such as lack of time due to greater family responsibilities and work obligations. It may also be due to physiological concerns or illnesses, such as having diabetes or heart problems.

In some cases, one or both partners may have psychological issues unrelated to sex that could dampen their libido. And of course, relationship issues between couples may also interfere with sex life.

5. How can sex between long-time partners be improved and become more pleasurable?

Excitement in bed between long-time partners can also fizzle out because of a lack of novelty. So, change things up!

Introduce new things into the bedroom: explore new positions and strategies, watch porn together, discover and perform your kinks, engage in role play, use sex toys!But most importantly, openly communicate your needs to your partner and be responsive with theirs as well.

6. Is it safe to use sex toys?

Sex toys are less taboo now and are more commonly used for that ultimate pleasure in group, partnered, and non-partnered sex. Sex toy manufacturers produce sex toys from a wide variety of materials.

Porous materials, like jelly rubber or polyvinyl chloride (PVC), may harbor bacteria. But silicone, glass, or stainless steel are non-porous and are safer for sharing. But this goes without saying: clean, sanitize, store safely, and observe proper use!

7. Is it normal for women to watch porn?

Of course! Not only men watch porn, women do, too! Thing is, most porn content is produced with heterosexual male viewers in mind. But now that people are starting to become more open about sex, there are more genres and themes for everyone. It’s just a matter of knowing what turns you on and gets you off.

8. Is fantasizing about other people aside from one’s partner wrong?

It is just natural to find other people sexually attractive and fantasize about them. The thing that makes it unacceptable is when you allow the fantasy to turn into reality.

9. Does fantasizing over someone mean that your relationship is in for trouble?

Not necessarily! In fact, it can even ignite intimacy and passion between couples who swap fantasies and express their sexual desires to one another.

Role play, anyone?

10. Is cum safe to swallow?

If you’re concerned about whether cum (or semen) is safe to ingest, the simple answer is yes. BUT swallowing semen could expose you to sexually transmitted infections or STIs. Also, some people may be allergic to semen, so if it is your first time to swallow, watch out for that!

Other than this, semen is digested by our bodies like food and contains an assortment of components (e.g. sugar, calcium, magnesium, potassium, etc.), aside from sperm, protein, and 80% water.

11. Can you have sex during your period?

While it can get messy, period sex can be enjoyed by partners who are open about it. While commonly practiced as contraception, it can also provide maximum pleasure because your body is producing a natural lubricant.

Some even say that they like the extra warmth the blood provides. Take note though that while the odds are low, the risk of pregnancy is still on the table. Spreading and contraction of sexually transmitted infections (STI) is also possible. Use condoms for protection!

12. Does it really take women longer to orgasm than men?

According to a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine entitled Orgasmic Latency and Related Parameters in Women During Partnered and Masturbatory Sex, it takes an average of 14 minutes for women to orgasm during sex with a partner, but only 8 minutes when masturbating!

This means that it is important to know what makes you orgasm quickly so you can communicate and teach it to your partner in the high hopes that they’d follow through!

13. Is it usual for women to fake orgasm when having sex with a partner?

Studies say that a good proportion of women have faked orgasm during coupled sex at least once, for a variety of reasons: to stroke their partners’ egos, to avoid embarrassment for being perceived as inadequate, to end the sex quickly, and to keep their partners. But to say it’s common does not make it okay.

Ask your partner to help you reach a genuine & pleasurable orgasm by telling them how you want to be stimulated to the big O.

14. What can be done for better orgasms in women?

With a partner, increasing clitoral stimulation by varying sex positions (e.g., woman-on-top, coital alignment technique) and simultaneous gentle massaging by hand or with the use of a vibrator can increase the likelihood of a women to reach authentic bliss. On your own, practice, practice, practice! Discover what pleasures you the most when alone in bed, communicate this with your partner, and be surprised with the results!

15. Squirting, is it real?

Squirting, or the jetting out of some fluid from the vagina during orgasm, can be a turn on for some men. Is it real? Yes, very much so. But not all women have experienced it nor have the capacity to!

Usually colorless and odorless, it is believed (though, inconclusive!) that it is a mix of a little bit of urine and prostate fluid coming from the Skene’s gland or female prostate.

16. Why do I experience vaginal dryness and what can I do about it?

Being dry down there can be painful, especially during sex. If you’re turned on but still lacking lubrication, it may be due to lack of sexual arousal or low libido, or low estrogen levels.

You can increase natural lubrication by masturbating or prolonging foreplay. You may also use lubricants made with water or silicone to avoid painful sex and for maximum pleasure. If symptoms persist, though, best to go to your doctor or healthcare provider.

17. Can older women still enjoy sex?

Contrary to common belief, a lot of senior women still engage in sexual behaviors, whether with a partner or solo. Aging, however, changes sex because of physiological changes such as less vaginal lubrication and lower levels of libido.

Thus, there could be greater discomfort when not done right. However, in a large-scale study in the US, more than 60% of women in their 50s, 45% in their 60s, and 28% in their 70s still very well enjoy sex! So yes, older women still enjoy sex!

Posted by Prism Kristensen

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