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BDSM

Sensations of a soft leather fringe caress your skin. Desire traces its fingertips along the back of your thighs before you hear the *snap* of leather hitting against your curves. A blend of pain and pleasure wraps around you. Do you ask for more? Make your own BDSM story by checking out our tools and equipment below.

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Obei The Admirer Leather Whip Spade ₱ 1,195 ₱ 1,075

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Obei Classic Feather Tickler 42 cm ₱ 895 ₱ 806

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Obei Nipple Sucker Nipple Sucker White ₱ 695 ₱ 626

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Obei Sparkle Feather Tickler 27 cm ₱ 995 ₱ 895

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Obei The Dictator Leather Whip ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Entice Me Mulberry Silk Blindfold ₱ 795 ₱ 716

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Obei Bind Me Bondage Rope 10 m ₱ 695 ₱ 626

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Obei The Intimidator Leather Whip ₱ 1,995 ₱ 1,796

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Obei Seduce Me Tickler and Whip ₱ 1,395 ₱ 1,256

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Obei The Performer Leather Whip ₱ 1,295 ₱ 1,166

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Obei Classic Tickler 19 cm ₱ 595 ₱ 536

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Obei The Lover Leather Whip ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei The Motivator Leather Whip ₱ 1,295 ₱ 1,166

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Obei Sensation Nipple Clamp ₱ 795 ₱ 716

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Obei The Ruler Leather Whip ₱ 1,395 ₱ 1,256

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Obei The Teaser Leather Whip 35 cm ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Handcuff ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Bound to Explore Leather Paddle ₱ 995 ₱ 895

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Obei Bound to Cuff Snap Hook Connector ₱ 495 ₱ 445

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Obei Fantasy Nipple Clamp ₱ 895 ₱ 806

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Obei Beginner's Leather Flogger 75 cm ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Teaser Leather Mask Black ₱ 1,295 ₱ 1,166

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Obei Nipple Cover ₱ 695 ₱ 626

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Obei The Artist Leather Flogger ₱ 1,195 ₱ 1,075

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Obei Guide Me Real Leather Anklecuff ₱ 1,795 ₱ 1,615

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Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Anklecuff ₱ 1,795 ₱ 1,615

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Obei The Pursuer Leather Flogger ₱ 1,795 ₱ 1,615

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Obei Teasing Nipple Clamp ₱ 995 ₱ 895

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Obei Charmer Leather Mask ₱ 1,995 ₱ 1,796

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Obei The Server Leather Whip ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Bound to Explore Leather Anklecuff ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei The Troublemaker Leather Flogger ₱ 995 ₱ 895

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Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Eye Mask ₱ 1,095 ₱ 985

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Obei Bound to Explore Leather Eye Mask ₱ 1,095 ₱ 985

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Obei Restrain Hanging Leather Manchettes ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei The Keeper Leather Flogger 41 cm ₱ 1,495 ₱ 1,346

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Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Bondage Set ₱ 4,495 ₱ 4,045

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Obei Real Leather Collar Black ₱ 1,295 ₱ 1,166

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Obei Real Leather Collar and Lead Set ₱ 1,695 ₱ 1,525
Got questions? Let us help: Read our informative guides below or check out the help section.
BDSM Toys and Equipemnt

BDSM Toys and Equipment: A complete guide to everything that matters

Sexual exploration is natural.

You’ve covered all the basics, and now you’re looking for more to keep you on the edge of your seat (or bed!). You want to figure out what you’re into and what’s going to give you more satisfaction than what you’ve already done before. Dive into the amazing worls of BDSM with NOTI.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an abbreviation for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism. It elevates your play with a consensual power exchange that adds excitement to your bedroom fun. In BDSM, one partner usually plays a more dominant role during sex while the other plays a more submissive role.

The main categories of BDSM:

    • Bondage: using restraints like ropes and handcuffs to limit your partner’s movement
    • Discipline: a dominant partner subjects a submissive partner to consented rules and punishments
    • Dominance and Submission: the core of a BDSM partnership wherein a submissive partner conforms to a dominant partner’s commands and desires. A ‘switch’ is someone who can take on both a submissive and dominant role.
    • Sadism and Masochism: a sadistic partner emotionally or physically inflicts pain–whether with equipment like whips or through humiliation–on a masochist who receives sexual gratification from the painful acts.

The categories above give a general overview of what BDSM is. There are different ways to approach BDSM and incorporate it into your play. The numerous styles of BDSM include power play, role-playing, pain play, bondage, wax play, edging, sensory deprivation, or humiliation. There is no single best way to practice it, and it’s all up to how you and your partner get the most pleasure from what you do together.

BDSM for beginners

A quick guide to partnered play

If it’s your first time hearing about BDSM and you’re interested in trying it out, you might be wondering how to get started. A few common starting points for beginners to explore can be:

  • Hair pulling: tugging at your partner’s hair to inflict light pain.
  • Bondage using a scarf or tie: limiting your partner’s movement by tying or restraining your partner using items you can find in your bedroom like a tie or scarf.
  • Blindfold: blocking your partner’s vision using a blindfold. This sensory deprivation heightens your partner's senses during sex play.
  • Spanking: striking your partner with your hand, a belt, or a paddle for sexual gratification.
  • Role-playing: acting out a scene or fantasy agreed upon by you and your partner.
  • Edging: bring your partner close to orgasm, stop, and repeat as much as you both like. Make your partner beg for more. This can intensify your partner’s orgasm and prolong your bedroom fun.

If you need a little more help, some beginners choose to hire ‘doms’ that can teach them how to safely do BDSM acts. If you prefer to ride solo in learning about this kinky new world, the internet is a vast space with video tutorials you can watch and other instructional material to elevate your play.

Must-know BDSM toys and equipment

Staying NOTI means knowing your way around the BDSM playroom, and that means making sure you’re familiar with the things you’ll find and know how to use them. Let’s review the different categories of this daring play. Everyone wants to give themselves and their partner a good time and this guide will cover all the must-knows before you take on your first BDSM experience.

Blindfolds

Blindfolds can come in the form of opaque eye masks or tie-around fabrics that limit your vision. The lack of sight heightens your senses during play.

Bondage Rope

Use a bondage rope to tie your partner into a submissive position, tie them to the bed, or–if you’re a pro–suspend them in the air.

Bondage Tape

Bondage tape doesn’t attach to any surface but itself so it keeps your skin safe. Use it as a substitute for a mouth gag, handcuffs, shackles, and bondage rope.

Candles

BDSM candles are designed to melt at lower temperatures so they don’t damage your skin. Drip them onto your partner as part of your temperature play.

Floggers

Floggers have several tails that are used to strike your partner or for sensation play.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs go around your partner’s wrists to restrict their movement. Cuff their hands behind the chair they’re sitting on or to the bed and tease them as you please. When you use handcuffs that require a key, make sure to be mindful of where you place it.

Mouth gags

Mouth gags prevent your partner from speaking and making much sound when worn. With this kind of equipment that restricts verbal communication, agree on a way to express your chosen safeword prior to play.

Nipple clamps

Nipple clamps squeeze and pinch your nipples according to the adjusted tightness of the clamps.

Paddles

Paddles are used to strike your submissive partner with a flat surface. Grab a paddle for your next spanking session and go from light to intense spanking. Check in with your partner and make sure you hit ‘safe zone’ areas of the body that cushion the impact of the paddle.

Ticklers

A tickler has a slender handle with feathers at the end that you can brush against your partner to tickle them and tease their senses.

Whips

Whips work by exciting your partner’s nerves when you hit them. Always make sure you're only striking areas that are covered in fat and muscles, just like with the paddle.

    The truth is that BDSM doesn't have to cost a fortune. It's acceptable to begin with whatever you have at home like a tie or scarf. However, sex and bondage toys take your play to a whole new level. They bring a fresh kind of excitement to your bedroom experience and let you explore your sexual desires even more than vanilla (toy-free) sex.

The BDSM pro’s basics

Edgeplay is the riskier end of the BDSM activity spectrum. Although everyone has a slightly different concept of edgeplay, it generally entails acts others would choose not to do because it poses the danger that someone could get hurt physically.

If you want to try out edgeplay, make sure you and your partner set clear limits and are both tested for STIs. Here are a few suggestions for starters:

  • Needle play: the use of needles in BDSM sex. This can include poking, pricking, or temporarily inserting a needle through an erogenous zone. Make sure to use only surgical-grade, sterilized needles.
  • Suspension bondage: your partner is suspended from one or more points in the ceiling. It’s a riskier form of erotic bondage so make sure you prepare. You can even include a spotter to help you get your suspended partner down, especially in case of an emergency.
  • Voyeurism: watching others engage in sexual acts. Go to a sex party, attend a sexhibition, watch porn together, or video call someone–whatever all parties are comfortable with. Take inspiration from what you see or do your own thing while the others you watch get it on.
  • Wax play: using BDSM candles to play with different temperatures during sex. Light your BDSM candle and let the wax carefully drip onto your partner’s body.

These suggestions are for those who have an advanced level of experience in BDSM. For amateurs that want to try their hand at riskier BDSM acts, make sure you double up on research and practice to assure that everyone involved is safe.

Sexpert advice

Staying safe

The act of consent is a core part of BDSM. All participants should establish enthusiastic consent and clear boundaries. What can and can't be done can be discussed verbally or even through a written agreement, so you're on the same page. Sexual practices that are non-negotiable and off-limits to you and your partner are known as hard limits. Before any BDSM activity, include these when you discuss your boundaries because everyone has their preferences and dislikes.

BDSM can get intense. You can use a safe word if any one of you is uncomfortable and wants to rest, move on to something else, or stop the sex. You can also express boundaries with the traffic light system, with each color conveying how the other person feels.

  • Red to immediately stop what they're doing
  • Yellow to slow down
  • Green to keep going

Aftercare entails checking in with each other after a play session to ensure everyone involved is feeling good and relaxed about what happened. Because BDSM releases endorphins, partners might experience a "down" that aftercare can help cushion or prevent. It involves physical care for any bruises, scratches, or sore spots and emotional care like cuddling and having a conversation about the experience.

How do I prepare for BDSM sex?

Communicate

BDSM is about exploring your limits. It expands your boundaries rather than surpasses them. Because of this, it’s important to communicate what you are willing to do and what’s off the table for you and your partner. It’s a two-way street of hearing each other’s rules and respecting the boundaries that have been set.

Marika Leila Roux, an expert on fetish and bondage, advises creating a personal risk profile that assesses your ability and willingness for taking risks. The risk profile also assesses what you're comfortable with. This profile is crucial to RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).

Get tested

BMake safety a priority. Just because BDSM is all about thrill doesn’t mean that you have to take too many risks in the process. Get tested for STIs with your partner. It shouldn’t be a big deal to make sure you’re both engaging in safe sex. It actually makes the sex better because you know you’re safe in each other’s company.

Research

BThe internet is a rich resource for topics on BDSM. Tutorials in almost every form of media exist and are accessible in just the click of the ‘Search’ button. Study up on the Do’s and Don'ts of BDSM for a sexually enriching experience for you and your partner.

Practice

BSome BDSM acts can be complex so practice is a must. You can do it at home or go to in-person classes. Practice different techniques with a partner or by yourself. If you’re studying how to do basic knots for bondage, you can even practice on yourself.

Is sex necessary for BDSM?

BDSM doesn't always involve or result in sex. Although pop culture and media has shown otherwise, BDSM itself is not connected to the act of having sex. According to sex expert Nadège, "BDSM is erotic and sexy, but engaging in BDSM does not mean you have to have sex."

If you and your partner are on the same page about having sex when practicing BDSM, then that's great, but you shouldn't feel pressure to engage in sexual intercourse. Nadège says,"BDSM is a way to bring fantasies to life and explore your sexuality or gender. If someone makes you feel like sex is mandatory, they are not an ethical person to play with."

How do I find the perfect partner for BDSM?

BDSM doesn’t automatically grant you a partner that fulfills your every fantasy and gifts you with effortless orgasms. Finding a partner that shares the same interests, fantasies, and preferences like you actually takes time. Nadège suggests meeting up for coffee before agreeing to share the bedroom to check if you and your potential BDSM play partner get along, can communicate well, and have similar fantasies.

Can BDSM enhance my relationship?

Engaging in BDSM sex in a relationship can be fun. For many BDSM fans, it's a means of self-expression, an exercise of trust, or a place to live out dreams of domination, submission, and other deeper desires. BDSM sex can boost intimacy between partners.

Sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Hunter Jones says that BDSM has helped couples reignite passion within their relationships. It has aided couples in introducing a new power dynamic to their relationship and has helped individuals regain confidence in their sexual experiences.

BDSM is for everyone. Whatever background you come from, you’re welcome to take your first step into BDSM as long as you and your partner consent to it. It’s an adventure that lets you realize more of your sexual desires and explore different dynamics with your partner.

Now that you have a pretty good idea of what BDSM is and can be, the NOTI sex shop has a wide range of products, gear and equipment for you to get it on. Elevate your play with us and stay NOTI ;)

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