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The Female Orgasm FAQ

What is an orgasm?

The orgasm is often regarded as an intense feeling of physical pleasure, followed by a ceremonious release of sexual tension. We give it many nicknames— coming, climaxing, peaking, to name a few. But everyone looks forward to the climax when engaging in sexual activity, just like in every good movie. 

What happens to my body when I achieve orgasm?

It can manifest in many ways, like racing hearts, ragged breathing, and muscle spasms. The muscles in both your vagina and uterus contract along with some other parts of your body, like your abdomen. But of course, every body is different! The length and intensity of this sensation will vary widely among women.

Why do women have an orgasm?

The truth is, nobody knows for sure. Though we do have some educated guesses: Some say it’s our way of choosing our mate, and others think the contractions help hold in the sperm. Meanwhile, according to evolutionary theory, it’s simply nature’s way of incentivizing us to keep the human race alive.

Is female ejaculation a real phenomenon?

Yes! Sometimes, a clear fluid can squirt out of their paraurethral gland and through the urethra whenever women aroused or at the point of orgasm. It usually occurs when their G-spot is stimulated. But not women ejaculate, so there’s no need to worry if you don’t.

How does a female orgasm differ from a male orgasm?

Female orgasms typically last longer from 13 to 51 seconds on average, while male orgasms clock in at just 10 to 30 seconds. Plus, women can experience multiple orgasms in succession, something that men can’t enjoy. That’s because penises have a refractory phase, during which they can’t have orgasms from minutes to days.

What is the orgasm gap?

The orgasm gap refers to the difference between the men and women who achieve orgasms in bed— roughly 60% of women compared to 90% of men. This arises from a general misconception of sexuality in mainstream culture, which tends to focus too much on male pleasure.

What are the health benefits of orgasms?

Momentary pleasure isn’t the only thing you’re getting from your orgasm! As it turns out, female orgasms can also relieve stress, enhance brain and bodily function, regulate your menstruation, improve your skin complexion, and help you live a longer life in general.

Are all orgasms made the same?

Not really! For instance, the localized thrums of your clit can feel very different from the deep, rumbly rhythms that your G-spot makes or the fuller sensation of anal stimulation. There’s a lot of ground to cover when it comes to pleasure, so you better buckle up and get ready to start.

How many types of orgasms are there?

We counted 10 broad categories of orgasms for you, all depending on either which body part you’re stimulating, how you’re stimulating it, or whether you’re going for more than one. Think of these as your car’s custom settings on your journey to that blissful climax.

What is a blended orgasm?

The blended orgasm is the best of both worlds— clitoral and vaginal orgasms rolled into one earth-shattering climax. Simultaneously stimulate the two in any way you like along with PC contractions, pelvic thrusting, and deep breathing for one hell of a ride. It’s certainly an exhilarating experience you won’t forget!

Is it possible for me to have multiple orgasms?

Definitely! Try stimulating your clit or other erogenous zones first, before moving deeper into your G-spot and knocking on your backdoor to get one orgasm after the other. If your body is feeling a bit too sensitive, all you need is to take a quick break before bouncing back.

Is it true that women can achieve an orgasm by thought alone?

It could be difficult to wrap your head around it, but it’s definitely not unheard of! With a lot of practice, some women are able to get off simply through the wonders of their own imagination. That’s because our sexuality is more complex and emotionally driven than previously thought.

What can I do to achieve an orgasm?

It all boils down to three things. First, you have to set the scene to prepare yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then you get into the action: Explore various touches and switch it up, but don’t rush or overthink it. Third, you can grab sex toys and other accessories to improve your overall experience.

Is it harmful for me to watch porn or read erotica before having sex?

It’s not wrong for women to partake in the visual feast that is porn just like men or read into their favorite adult-themed novels. That's not cheating on your partner— that’s taking inspiration from other people's art! Just be careful not to idealize the bodies on screen and feel that yours isn’t sexy too.

How long does it usually take for women to achieve orgasm?

On average, it takes women 20 minutes of stimulation to achieve orgasm during sex. (That’s opposed to men, who only need 7 to 14 minutes.) But of course, it’s perfectly alright if it takes you more or less. All that matters is that everyone enjoys the sexual experience, no matter how long it takes!

How do I make my orgasms last longer?

There are a few proven ways to make your orgasms longer and more intense. One is edging, which is deliberately taking a step back when you’re at the edge of orgasm before stimulating yourself again. And while you’re not having sex, work on some exercises with Kegel balls to improve your pelvic-floor muscles.

Is it alright for me to fake it till I make it?

While orgasms shouldn’t be the be-all, end-all of sex, it’s best to be honest about your own experience. Faking it would send the wrong signals, so your partner thinks they could do the same thing again next time. Then you’ll have to fake it again— it’s a downward spiral from then on.

I’ve done everything on that list, but I still couldn’t orgasm— what should I do?

If being unable to orgasm is still a problem for you despite your best efforts, this could be a sign of some sort of orgasmic dysfunction. It’s best to consult your doctor about this for more options to treat your underlying problem.

What is masturbation?

Masturbation is the act of stimulating your own genitals for your own pleasure. You can use your own fingers, sex toys, or other objects along with sexual fantasies to reach an orgasm. People usually treat this as a private affair, but don’t worry⁠— it’s totally normal, even though others don’t talk about it a lot.

Is it okay for women to masturbate?

Yes! Women are often dissuaded from exploring their physical desires out of cultural shame, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Masturbation isn’t a bad behavior, no matter what people may have you believe. You deserve to experience orgasms with all of the pleasure and none of the guilt!

How often do men and women usually masturbate?

One survey conducted among 5,865 people found out that most men masturbate weekly or a few times per month, while women said they do so monthly or a few times per year. Still, it’s alright if you don’t fit in this average; this number still tends to vary from person to person.

Is masturbation bad for my health?

No. Gone are the days when masturbation was regarded as a source of hysteria for women, because experts now perceive it as a healthy and normal sexual activity. In fact, it’s a neat way for us to feel pleasure and fulfillment without any risk of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases at all.

What are some benefits I could get from masturbating?

Masturbation offers numerous benefits for women. Some of these are about preventing diseases like cervical and urinary tract infections, heart diseases, and diabetes. Others are about boosting your emotional well-being— relieving anxiety and depression. All these can help improve your relationship with yourself, as well as your partner.

Can masturbation ruin my sex life?

Masturbation doesn’t necessarily get in the way of good sex. In most cases, understanding yourself intimately even adds to the overall sexual experience with your partner. However, this habit could be a problem in your relationship when you’re starting to miss out on sexy time with your partner.

How do I know if I’m masturbating too much?

Contrary to popular belief, “too much” masturbation isn’t so much about how often you do it as it is about determining if the activity is negatively affecting you. Are you masturbating as a way to escape your problems or avoid your partner? If your answer is yes, then perhaps there is a reason to worry.

Any masturbation tips and tricks for my next solo session?

First of all, set the mood right— you can watch porn or read erotica to kick off your solo session. Then take the time to relax by slowly exploring your body to find your most sensitive spots. Put your mind into it, and don’t forget to add lube and sex toys in the mix!

Posted by Prism Kristensen

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