If you’re way past your teenage years and never had “the talk,” this is a crash course you’ll want to take.
When you were young, your parents probably told you that you can ask them anything. And they happily answered the questions burning at the back of your head. That is, until you innocently wondered how babies (like you) are made.
Cue the uneasy laughter, nervous fidget, and awkward silence. Your mother clears her throat to change the subject— would you like to go play outside instead?
Of course, you’re no longer as clueless as you once were. You’re old enough to have an idea of what goes on behind the curtains. Then again, how are you supposed to learn more about this touchy subject without getting shrugged off?
You can secretly flip through women’s magazines, scroll down Reddit threads, or binge-watch the one Netflix series that’s better than the sex ed you never had. But if you already have a hot date planned tonight, we need to get a little more creative.
Stick around, because we’re finally having the talk. These are all the stuff you’ve wanted to ask about sex, including what your mama never told you all these years.
Before we get ahead of ourselves, it’s worth knowing exactly what you’re getting yourself into.
In simple terms, sex education is about exploring matters about sex and sexuality. But it’s more than knowing where to put your hands or how to get orgasms… even though we do get around to discussing these.
The most important part is placing our sexual experience in the context of the self, relationships, and overall well-being. We get to acknowledge that it’s something innate and natural to us as human beings instead of denying it exists at all.
That certainly takes a lifelong journey of discovering the sensual pleasures that our bodies are capable of, so long as we’re open to every opportunity.
Starting with a bang
We all need to start somewhere, no matter how much experience we have. Here are a few pointers that will surely help you build a strong foundation for your sexual experience:
For the clueless: What is sex?
For us, sex isn’t just some primal activity to produce offspring and ensure the survival of our species. Unlike others in the animal kingdom, we humans experience the blissful orgasm— and most of the time, that’s more than enough reason for us.
Billions of years of getting it on, yet even experts are still trying to figure out why or how it fosters an intimate interdependence.
For first-timers: What to expect?
First time having sex with your partner? If you feel ready, don’t worry about what some people have to say. You have nothing to lose— only new experience to gain.
Sure, it may be awkward at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get better. You should also know that there isn’t just one way to do it. (Non-hetero couples can vouch for this!) Ultimately, how you want to do it, who you want to do it with, and when you want to do it should be all up to you. Your body, your choice.
For the experienced: What to do better?
Your sex drive or libido is how much enthusiasm you hold for sexual activities. It’s not that we ladies don’t have it in us to feel aroused like the gents, as the popular misconception goes. Our bodies respond differently, that’s all. Slowly and surely does the trick!
Even as we’re talking about sex, it still isn’t the be-all and end-all of your alone time with your partner. We’re also emotional creatures that crave affection, acceptance, and connection. For women, it can make all the difference in the pleasure we feel.
If you want to deepen a relationship to something more than just a one-night stand, you’ve got to pay attention to these nuances:
Baring everything: Why develop intimacy?
Having sex with someone requires a certain level of vulnerability. How you deal with it can determine whether you’ll be receptive to stimulation.
Intimacy is a spectrum with being comfortably open on one end and completely closed off in the other. This can change over time, though. Can you guess at which point you can enjoy sex more, deepen your bond, and relieve stress?
Slowing down: Why bother with foreplay?
They say matters of taste shouldn’t be matters of dispute. Nonetheless, there should be room for compromise. Just because men can quickly jump into it doesn’t mean they can skip on what guarantees women’s pleasure!
Foreplay is, without a doubt, an essential facet of female sexuality. Missing out on this could very well be a recipe for disaster— the faked orgasm, to be more precise.
Expanding your possibilities
The human imagination is creative and boundless, especially in bed. If you’re the more enthusiastic type, you’d probably have a sexually active lifespan of 50 years under your belt.
That’s plenty of time to try out and experiment with what our curiosity as a species has to offer:
Sensational activities: Which is your type?
What would it take for you to reach that peak? Contrary to popular belief, vaginal penetration isn’t the only way to go. There are actually several other types of sex that you can always consider!
Whether you’re up for lending a hand through mutual masturbation or partying in the backside with anal sex, feel free to explore what works out for you.
Seductive moves: Which position feels great?
You might find this surprising, but the Indian book Kama Sutra, which is famous for its sexual treatises, recommends a total of 529 configurations for couples. Feeling overwhelmed? Luckily for you, there are a few easier sex positions that will give you more bang for your buck. You can definitely try these at home!
Spectacular skills: Which does it best?
You can always learn from your own mistakes, but it’s far better learning from the experiences of others. So if you’re trying to figure out how to have sex, it’s best to learn the tips and tricks from those who’ve gotten their fair share of sexy time.
Trust us, there’s no harm in seeking a little bit of help. Think of sex like any other skill, such as cooking, painting, or hiking. You don’t get it right the first time around, but you’ll improve eventually.
Here at Noti, we want to make sure you have the information that you need to live out a safe, enjoyable, and fulfilling sex life. Even if it means writing an article as basic as defining sex itself.
Knowledge is power, and knowledge put into action is— well, why not find out for yourself?
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is sex education?
Sex education is about exploring matters about sex and sexuality. And that’s more than just learning where to put your hands or how to get orgasms. (Though you get to learn these too!) More importantly, it’s about placing our sexual experience in the context of the self, relationships, and overall well-being.
Why is sex education important?
By engaging in sex education, we’re able to acknowledge that sex isn’t something that we should consider filthy or shameful. It’s simply something innate to the human experience. Only then would we be able to make more informed decisions around our desires, may they be physical or more emotional in nature.
What is there for me to learn in sex education?
There’s a lot of ground to cover! First, you can know more about what sex is, whether you’re looking for what to expect or what to do better. Then there’s the matter of deepening it through intimacy and foreplay. Last but not least, you can get more practical through the types, positions, and the how-tos.
How do I educate myself more about sex and my sexuality?
There are lots of resources that you can rely on to get the sex education that you never had when you were younger. In fact, there’s a surplus of information online that it could be hard to figure out where to start. Luckily for you, we’ve organized the basics for you right here at Noti!
Is it too weird that I’m asking you all these questions?
Not at all! We honestly appreciate that you’re willing to start this much-needed conversation with us. As Filipinas, we know how it can be difficult to be open to these matters. That’s why we’re providing these free resources— to allow you to have a safe, enjoyable, and fulfilling sex life.
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- Female Sexuality
- Your body, Your temple
- Self love
- Sexual well-being
- The Brain, A power organ
- - Clitoris
- - The Vagina
- - The G-Spot
- Erogenous zones
- What is an orgasm
- Types of orgasm
- How to orgasm
- Female masturbation
- Orgasm FAQ
- What is sex
- Sex drive
- First time sex
- How to have sex
- Types of sex
- Sex positions
- Sex FAQ