Elevate your bondage play with a lead set.

Simple in design yet erotic in nature, lead sets are a must-have for anyone’s growing BDSM toy collection.

For a lot of people, BDSM can be an intimidating territory to get into. There are just so many types of plays and toys that you might be tempted to give up altogether. Luckily, there are ways to get into BDSM that are convenient and practical — and still intensify your experience in the bedroom. One of the most popular and hassle-free ways is to make use of a bondage lead set.

What exactly is a bondage lead set?

A bondage lead set combines two of the most popular toys in BDSM: the collar and leash. A collar is an accessory of any material — usually leather, silk, vinyl, or polyester — that’s worn by a person around their neck to declare their submissive status in a BDSM relationship.

Meanwhile, the leash is attached to the collar, and the dominant uses it to keep the submissive in line.

Leashes vary in length, but they’re usually between one to two meters long. If you’re a dom, this is advantageous because the length keeps your sub close while, at the same time, allowing leeway for some movement for naughty acts in the bedrooms.

For subs, a lead set allows you to conveniently feel the pleasure of relinquishing control. Unlike other BDSM toys that inflict pain or deprive certain senses, all you have to do is to wear the lead set in order to feel the restraint of your dreams.

The History of the Lead Set

Even though BDSM is a relatively new concept, the activities associated with this have been around for centuries. The Kama Sutra, an ancient Sanskrit text on sexuality and eroticism which dates back to 400 BCE, even has some mentions of spanking.

But, the collar didn’t explicitly appear in any BDSM literature until Histoire d’O (which translates to Story of O), a book by French author Anne Cécile Desclos under the pen name Pauline Réage that was published in 1954. This erotic novel features a lot of BDSM (despite the author’s lack of personal experience in this field), and in this book, Desclos used the leather collar to symbolize submission due to its history of being used in slavery. After the publication of this book, several other authors and practitioners began adopting the leather collar and its symbolism.

It was also in the 1950s when the fashion trend of wearing dog collars began. This trend involved teenage girls wearing dog collars to let boys know that they were single and available for a relationship. However, these collars were worn on their ankles instead of their necks.

However, despite the dark history of the collar and leash, their symbolism changed over time. When people decide to use a lead set today, it simply means that they have discussed and agreed to incorporate dominance and submission in their sex life. The one who wears the collar is the submissive, while the one holding the leash is the dominant. Consent and choice are incredibly vital in a BDSM relationship. In a way, a collar is like an engagement or wedding ring — but for BDSM practitioners.

The significance behind a BDSM collar varies from one person to another. Some people only wear it inside the bedroom, but others want to flaunt their BDSM relationship status out in the open, so they wear it willingly every day. Essentially, the significance of a collar totally depends on the couple practicing a kinky lifestyle.

To buy or not to buy: what should I consider in a lead set?

There are so many BDSM lead sets available in the market today, so finding one that fits your style and preference can be quite challenging. To help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by all these choices, here’s a handy guide of considerations to think about when shopping for a lead set.

Determine what type of collar you and your partner would like.

Whether you’ll be wearing the lead set or not, it’s still helpful to determine the purpose of wearing the collar. In fact, knowing the purpose is key to choosing the right set for you and your partner.

Currently, there are several variations of collars available, and couples who practice hardcore BDSM go through three stages of collaring.

• Collars of Consideration. This is the collar you’d wear for the first stage. Wearing this collar means that you’re under consideration to be your partner’s submissive or slave. Oftentimes likened to pre-engagement rings, the collar of consideration doesn’t have to be an actual collar — it can be a bracelet, waist chain, or anklet. If you’d like a traditional collar of consideration, it would be a leather collar in the color blue.
• Training collars. This is what you’d wear during the second stage of collaring. The training collar is said to be like an engagement ring because it represents the agreement between the dominant and submissive. During this stage, both parties communicate about each other’s needs, desires, and lifestyles to determine if they’re the right fit for each other. The traditional training collar is made of leather and usually comes in red or black.
• Protection collars. Once you’re done with the collaring stages, you’ll get to wear a protection collar. If we continue with the ring analogy, then we can say that this collar is like a wedding ring. When a person wears it, it signifies their status as the submissive in their relationship. It also means that they’re under the protection and responsibility of their dom.
• Permanent collars. This is not exactly part of the collaring stage, but many people do prefer to wear one because they want to show off that they’re a permanent submissive in a BDSM relationship. This type of collar comes with a locking mechanism, and only the dominant has the key.

Undergoing a collaring ceremony is intended for those who want to be committed to the BDSM lifestyle. But of course, you can still wear a collar even if you’re not ready for a long-term commitment. Some of the collars you can check out include:

• Play collars. This is the most relaxed kind of collar in the group. You simply wear this during a kinky scene, and that’s it — no need to wear it outside the bedroom.
• Day collars. This kind of collar is something that can pass as regular jewelry when you wear it during the day. Only you and your partner know what the collar means — while everyone around you can be none the wiser.

Make sure the leash is sturdy.

Imagine that you and your partner are in the middle of a spicy act using the lead set — and then suddenly, the leash snaps. The mood is undoubtedly interrupted, and you or your partner could’ve gotten hurt.

To avoid any of these scenarios from happening, you have to ensure that the lead set you’re planning to purchase features a strong and durable chain. So, make sure to check that the metal quality is great before you click the buy button.

The Different Scenarios Perfect for the Lead Set

A lead set is predominantly used in roleplays, and the most commonly used scenarios are the following:

• Erotic humiliation. This is a consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to turn someone on. Usually, there are spectators — such as public humiliation and webcam modeling — but this isn’t necessary. Defining “humiliation” is highly dependent on you and your partner, so you can use the lead set to humiliate each other however you wish.
• Pet play. As the name suggests, this form of roleplay features one participant pretending to be an animal. Usually, this participant is put on the collar and leash, and their partner takes the upper hand in the situation. Because of all this, pet play is also known as animal roleplay.
• Age play. This is a form of roleplaying where one is of a different age from the other. The most common occurrence is that one person in a relationship pretends to be younger than they are. In this scenario, the lead set is used as a way to make the other person obey or punish them. Age play is done between adults, and all parties must provide their vocal enthusiastic consent before trying this.

Our Recommendations

Eager to get started on your kinky adventure? If so, then you need to invest in a high-quality lead set first. Here are a few recommendations to get you started on your search.

Obei Guide Me Real Leather Collar and Lead Set

Fashionably elegant, the Obei Guide Me Real Leather Collar and Lead Set will certainly boost your A-game in bed. Plus, the leather on the collar feels soft to the touch, and the lead is made with strong metal, so this accessory is going to last you a long time.

Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Collar and Lead Set

The Obei Bound to Tease Real Leather Collar and Lead Set is quite straightforward in its design: simple yet bold and daring at the same time. It’s also made with real leather and a strong metal chain, so you can expect this set to be durable and long-lasting.

Obei Lead Me Real Leather Collar and Lead Set

The Obei Lead Me Real Leather Collar and Lead Set features a collar with a five-hole buckle and a chain link with a soft wrist loop. In other words, your comfort is the priority, so you can get down and kinky without any problem.

Obei Bound to Explore Leather Collar and Lead Set

The Obei Bound to Explore Leather Collar and Lead Set is elegant in design and erotic by nature, making it a great addition to your BDSM collection. Since this one is made from polyurethane leather, it’s the perfect choice for people looking for vegan options.

Obei Real Leather Collar and Lead Set

The Obei Real Leather Collar and Lead Set features a simple and easy-to-use design. It’s also adjustable and portable. Because of all these features, this set is best suited for beginners.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I use a lead set?

The best thing about lead sets is that they’re extremely versatile. You can use them in a variety of plays and scenarios, such as erotic humiliation, pet play, and other role-playing acts. Don’t hesitate to experiment, and also feel free to use other accessories together with the lead set (e.g., blindfolds and handcuffs).

When you have decided what BDSM act you’re doing, please establish a few rules to ensure your safety. Choose a safe word that you and your partner can say to stop the play if you get uncomfortable. You should also make sure that you have each other’s consent before starting anything. Bondage plays should be fun and safe — so all parties should put in the effort to make this happen.

How do I care for and store a lead set?

Before you set out to clean your collar and leash set, you first have to check what they’re made of. Collars can be made with different materials, and these materials may differ in terms of cleaning instructions.

If the collar is made of leather, use a soapy towel or a leather cleaner to clean it — never ever soak a leather collar in water. After, wipe it with a dry towel, then allow it to air dry — but not in direct sunlight. If you leave it under the sun, the material might crack.

For the leash, wiping down with a wet towel works just fine.

Once your lead set is dry, you can place it inside a pouch, then secure it somewhere clean, dry, and cool like a closet or storage box. That way, it won’t be exposed to dust and dirt.

Did you know?

Lead sets are actually available in the Philippines — thanks to our sex shop! Here at NOTI.ph, we believe that all women should have the chance to explore their sexuality without guilt or stigma. That’s why we aim to offer as many adult toys as possible, and that includes lead sets.

If you want to check out our offerings, you can find the famed toys under the “Lead Sets” catalog on our site.

Every package can be delivered directly to your doorstep. We guarantee discreet packaging without reference to the parcel's contents or our brand name. The only one who will be excited about the parcel is you!